November 2009
4 posts
James: frunch
Hon. Sir Zebra: That is a kind of meal, actually alluded to in The Simpsons by Homer (I forget the episode and season, forgive me) as "the meal between brunch and lunch." That is an inaccurate description, though; "frunch" is actually a kind of petit-dejunier eaten by juvenile goat herders (known as Les Fruges) who live in a small and uninteresting region of northern France called Frümbgj. They speak a bizzare mix of French, Estonian, and German. Nobody likes them at all.
AT ALL.
James: Actually it's the sound of an american sedan colliding with any kind of soft matter.
Hon. Sir Zebra: Isn't that a "mrunch?" Oh, wait, that's a mid-range Japanese motorbike colliding with a sofa bought from a Salvation Army for specifically purposes of motor-vehicular recreation.
Hon Sir Zebra: Bum Scrub:
James: Sounds like an old Etonian punishment. But I'm gonna go ahead and say that it's the sweaty, matted pubic hair residing deep within the crevasse of a man's rear.
OR
It's the wisps of said hair that grow long and protrude beyond the crack.
me: It is, in fact, both of the first two.
The Etonian punishment usually involves a loofa, roughly one kilo of horseradish, and the posterior of the offending lad.
It's eventual discontinuation resulted when it was discovered that it was a more pleasurable than detractive procedure.
James: learned drillbit
Hon. Sir Zebra: A learned drillbit can drill through anything. But chooses not to, most of the time.
James: I would have said it splits it, counter clockwise. In a firm manner.
James: Are you a communist?
Hon. Sir Zebra: I am not. I am a columnist. Important distinction: a communist wants everything to belong to everybody. A columnist wants everything to be blamed on everybody.